Hitler Stole My Bike

This is taken from my old site, HalfCourtHero.com. Since I haven’t been able to write as much as I’d like to lately, I thought I’d bring back this blast from the past.

This is from October 12, 2004:

Yesterday my brother IM'd me something that he had just received from a coach of his. I have read it or had it read to me a total of five times now and have been unable to keep myself from laughing out loud each time. The coach is a teacher and the following is an actual assignment turned in by one of his students and his reply to the student:

YO YO YO YOU TRIPIN
by: Student

THIS ONE DAY I WAS CHILLIN AT THE PARK AND THEN I GOT BLOWN UP WHITH A WARHEAD. I WAS LIKE WHUT. IT WAS FROM GERMANY. AHHH I SAID AS I LAID ON THE GROUND THAT'S ALL I COULD SAY I WAS HURT. WHEN YOU HAVE A WARHEAD FALLOUT OF THE SKY ON YOU THEN TALK TO ME. WELL WHEN I REGAINED MY COUNSNIES I LOOK INSIDE THE MISSLE AND SURE A NUFF ADOLF HITLERS BODY WAS INSIDE. IT WAS CRAZY. THEN I ROLLED IT HOME. THERE WE STUDIED IT TO LEARN MORE. THEN HITLER BROKE OUT AND STOLE MY BIKE. I BEAT HIM DOWN GOT MY BIKE BACK AND BURIED THE MISSLE.

My [the teacher’s] response:
This was meant to be a TRUE personal narrative. I don't deny that you believe this really happened, but I have trouble finding truth in it. Example: even if Hitler really was in the warhead that blew you up, and even if he really did steal your bike, I have trouble believing that you actually beat him down to get it back. I think he could take you!

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